Some time ago, I came up with a series of malaprop statements for posting on Twitter every Monday. I didn’t have many followers then. So for those of you who missed them, which I’m sure applies to most readers, I thought that I would drag a few of them out again in hopes that they might brighten up your Monday.
If you are not familiar with the term, a malaprop is a misuse of words. usually resulting from a resemblance in sound, that changes the meaning of a statement or makes it nonsensical. So, here goes:
The Drag Queen Revue will be showcasing their new routine in a dress reversal this Friday night.
“Fishing is so much fun! My blonde neighbor exclaimed. “On my very first time out I caught a groper.”
Sign at the newsstand: “In appreciation to our dedicated police and firefighters, all uninformed personnel are welcome to a free newspaper.”
Johnny’s occasional habit of spitting while he talked really irrigated his teacher.
Tom didn’t smoke, drink, or engage in vices of any kind. He was truly an uptight citizen.
The Dang Yankee 